Bianca
si
Sabina

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    ...At about 7 or 8 months old, the first words uttered by our girls: mother and father (which at that time brought us an immense joy and tears in our eyes, a memory which we still treasure, hoping they will be repeated, disappeared totally, being replaced by repetitive and senseless verbal self stimulations, and also by climbing up and down the stairs endlessly, swinging for 40 minutes and even an hour, by closing and opening the doors, drawers, for long period of time. If they were stopped they made crises of hysteria. As time passed, when they were a year and eight months old and we went to see “prominent” doctors, I had the impression that somebody was stealing something from my children. Little by little, and I don’t know where, I had the feeling that I lost them. I was seized by an uncommon fear which was foreseeing a dreadful diagnosis, and I started to look on the Internet and in media for answers. At first everybody considered I was overreacting that because they were born prematurely and were twins they will develop later. I was told “they are twins”, “they communicate more between themselves”... After a few hours on the Internet I found a site: www.autism.ro (I recommend the reading of this site and I thank all those who give us a real help by offering information, which represent a ray of hope in a dark soul), and reading that information I swallowed in some tens of minutes, I couldn’t stop my tears that coursed down unconsciously because I had the sensation that I was reading about my little girls. My tears went on coursing for a very long time after that, when I talked to my mother, my husband and my family and even now I can’t stop them. There is no greater pain than that of not being able to help your own children when something happens to them, that there is nothing in this world to give up to, in order to set them free from a world we learn to understand, in which we don’t know how they got it, no matter how hard we try to revise all the aspects starting with the conceiving. Those who have children understand this better, because now I know that this is the most important thing in the world: our children and their happiness. Nothing around us is more precious than love, and for us, our children!

    As I have mentioned, we started to see several doctors to find a solution. We went regularly to a private clinic to check their evolution: weight, height, etc, but the doctor did not consider that there was something wrong with them because she said they were premature and twins. At that time they were 1,6 year old. We waited for two more months and went to the Dorobanti clinic at the neuropsychiatry for children department and also to see a psychologist. The latter realized there were some problems and sent me to a neurologist. Here we were advised not to interfere at that moment and asked us to come back in a few months. I will not name those people, who do not deserve. A few months meant a loss for us, because time is our worst enemy. We wasted some months in which we could have done what we are doing now for them. I’m sure that many parents recognize their problems and that’s why to ask them to trust their parent’s instinct. Don’t accept only one opinion, though not ill intended can be wrong and so you waste precious time.

    When they were 2,1 years old we went to the Sanador clinic, to see dr. Sanda Magureanu, who told us their manifestation are autistic and recommended a classic treatment: cerebrolysin injections, tonotil and putting them in a community. That very week we enlisted them in a private kindergarten, not to mention the medication they received the next day hoping for a miracle (I was in such a hurry at that time).Getting into collectivity helped us very much, especially that there we found a psychologist who helped us tremendously and to whom we owe our present achievements. Her name is Anca Radulescu, she works at Sf . Ecaterina center (the Institute for the development of the child). She evaluated the girls and recommended to start ABA therapy as soon as possible. She put us in contact with another person to whom we want to express our appreciation for all the information about autism, therapy, tutors, doctors, etc. , Mihaela Stan. I perfectly remember the  trip to Malu Spart...  I left with sorrow in my heart , not very optimistic, I must recon, but when I arrived there and especially when I met her boys, I realized that we have hope... that we can do it, we can help our little girls !!!!!

    Also from Mihaela, we have found out about Dr. Radu Naghiu, and his important contribution to the fight against this “disease” (because in fact it is not a mental disease, but a disorder of the nervous system). I remember perfectly the words of Mihaela “if I was now to start over, the first thing I would do is to consult dr. Naghiu”. I left from Malu Spart with my husband very motivated, open to what will happen in the future, but unprepared for what the long road ahead of us. We visited Dr. Naghiu who recommend also to start the ABA therapy, but only one month after we start the homeopath treatment that he prescribed, because the girls could present an aversion to the tutors and therapy. During this month, also with the precious help of Anca Radulescu, we have managed to find two wonderful tutors: Alexandra Cercel and Anca Muntean. In the mean time the team was completed with Gerogiana Tugui. We didn’t know very much about the therapy, we have find out more about it from the tutors who had previous experiences with autistic child and they mobilized very quickly, much to quickly for us, which was good to us because we were still in a state of shock. I want to thanks them for all their efforts and hard work, for all the good results they had with my little girls, but also for the fact that they “heroically” supported me, taking into the consideration my emotional breakdowns.  They gave me hope... I must recon that at first I did not believe in the therapy, it seemed all a stupid,  but short time after, when the results start to appear...  I started to feel very bad for not believing in the therapy, for my first impressions.

    I remember as it was yesterday, the first time when my little girls started to point finger to what they want, in the beginning they started to point finger at chocolate bars, which they learn it very fast, and this only due to the techniques of the tutors, a great achievement which i don’t believe that I could have made it possible by my own. For me this was like a magic number “Sabina and Bianca points to what they want “. This achievement made me believe stronger, made me go further.

    I know that the steps are slow, in comparison with what we as parents wish, to wake up in the morning and our little girls to be normal, all of these to be just a bad dream …but we have to look in the future, the results so far are good and hope giving.

    Again I must recon that even all of us have passed through a period that cannot be described in words: the shock of the autism diagnostic, the difficult road ahead of us, financial problems, an uncertain future, no one can guarantee you nothing, we don’t know for sure that our little girls will ever be recuperated, uncertainty, etc, I have regained my faith in GOD, in me, and especially in my girls.

    I will never rest with the thought that nothing can be done with my little girls, in order to be normal, I will continue to fight alongside my family and the people who are besides us!!!!!!!!!!!! We as a family are the greatest support for our little girls!!!!!!!!!

    Although we started the ABA therapy and the homeopath treatment 8 months ago, it seems like it have passed a great amount of time! But we have result, and all the people involved (tutors, psychiatrics, neuropsychiatries) believe that the girls had a positive evolution with great hopes for the future. During this period we have done more cognitive evaluations and consulted other specialists. We go regular to Dr. Naghiu (every month) and once at three months to Dr. Sanda Magureanu. I believe we have tried all the possibilities so far…… and a little of every thing that we’ve done it shows. Please do not lose hope, and do not make my mistake to ask yourself “WHY ME”, “WHY MY CHILDRENS”, and most of all do not loose hope in GOD. The only thing that you must concentrate on is to what you can do for your child and especially to have trust in him!!!.

    Life can be understood only by looking behind, but it must be lived by looking forward!!!! I was wrong...

    Together with my family we have thought much to this site, if it is alright to make it, or not, ... to make all public... to ask for help and direct support... pride, shame?!, I would like to tell you that I have changed my perception…… I believe that our society is more autistic than all this children together , which are only little souls with  a lot more sensibility than they allow to see it... which are making great efforts to adapt to a so called “normal life”, “normal society”  than we do. And one more thing who defines “normality”?? It depends only by us as individuals to make the difference, to make a change….. and I was very surprised to see that I received help from people that I didn’t even know (strangers), and the information received, the people we met, putted together contributed decisively to the results that we have now. We were very lucky from this point of view, we have moved very quickly based on the information received, an in three weeks from the autistic diagnose we already had tutors for the ABA therapy, an adequate treatment, doctors to count on, and a little hope for the future. But, first of all my greatest appreciation is for my mother. There is no other mother in this world, like my mom!!! Her help and contribution for our family was like the air for which we cannot breathe!!!!  THANK YOU MOM !!!! Also there are many persons whom I want to thank, from my family... to my colleagues and friends...   people that I didn’t  know.

    Our call is for all the persons who can help us financially, but also with any information about what we could more for our little girls, an advice, a thought, anything. Likewise we would like to help other children and parents in this situation, as well as we were helped. Don’t hesitate to call us, to ask us, to try to be close one with another…..  this things matters very much!!! I know from my experience that the greatest enemy is the lack of information, then the lack of interest or convenience of some parents or medical staff. After all of these, you come across with another great problem, lack of financial sources. In the present we do the ABA treatment with only three tutors, for both our little girls, and the monthly expenses are raised at 900 Euro, and this for only 3 hours per day of therapy for each girl (5 days a week), which is not sufficient because we have to make 6 hours per day of therapy with each child. Also to this we must add all the monthly cost with doctor fees, homeopath treatment, medical treatment, materials for ABA therapy, speech therapist fee, other evaluations and analyses.

    I want to say that another big problem for us now, is the supervisory. At the moment we do ABA therapy without a supervisor, and this is because until now the programmes worked with my little girls were easy and we didn’t encounter any problem so far, but also due to the fact that in Romania there are not many specialists in ABA, and those who are, are already working with too many child and they cannot handle more cases. A very good solution to our problem is to find ABA specialist from foreign countries, from Israel, UK or USA. The cost of  engaging foreign ABA specialist are very high, the amounts varies from country to country between 2500 pounds to 3000 pounds, once every three months, for 2-3 days with 8 hours/day of workshops. I also want to mention that in the present our little girls are not going anymore to kindergarten because we couldn’t afford it any more, although this would have been prescribed by the doctors.

    From the next year we hope, with the help of others, to be able to enlist them to a kindergarten, but this is not only a financial problem, because here is very hard to find a kindergarten willing to accept our girls... another obstacle in our long path to complete recuperation... at the beginning our girls will be accompanied to kindergarten by the tutors, in order to introduce them gradual in the kindergarten daily programme. Although me and my husband have steady and good paid jobs, it is practically impossible to be able to handle all the monthly expenses with the treatment for our little girls. We have been helped by our parents from the beginning, by our friend lately, all of these in order to have continuity in treatment for our little girls.

    From the bottom of my heart please Help us, help our little angels, in order to be able to continue with the treatment, because I want to mention that for autistic children, there is no other remedy besides the ABA therapy, is the only treatment with results in time, which through intensive stimulation of the brain can help these child to become normal. Time is the greatest enemy in these cases... the earlier you start the greatest are the odds to recuperate the child... the harder you work with these children the greatest are the hopes. The target is to make these children to live independent. Also the homeopath treatment is also very helpful.

    BIANCA and SABINA represent all that we have!!!!! Please help our little girls to have the life that each of us is entitled to!!!!!